Among the many things I learned at the second annual Austin FOOD & WINE Festival, which took place at Austin’s Butler Park April 27-28, here are my favorite take-aways:

1) The old adage about drinking red wine at room temperature works well in, say, Scotland, when room temperatures are considerably lower than averages in Texas. In Central Texas, especially in summer, room temperature is usually too hot. So cool your red wine in the fridge and take it out about a half hour before serving it. Interestingly, when we drink red wine that’s too warm, our perception of fruit goes down, but our perception of alcohol and tannin (that bitter, inside-of-the-banana-peel taste) go up.  So chill that red wine, y’all.

2) Shrubs are more than pretty plants. In the restaurant and bartending world, shrubs refer to a lively mix of fruit, sugar, and vinegar, which were used in the 1800s to make soft drinks—and lively and refreshing cocktails. Shrubs and drinking vinegars are experiencing a comeback of sorts, and Bill Norris’ Saturday session on the topic was both fascinating and loads of fun.

Bill, the beverage director of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, demonstrated how to make strawberry and peach shrubs—and how to use them in tasty and refreshing cocktails. Here’s how to make a strawberry shrub: Take a cup of strawberries and dice them. Put them in a bowl with a cup of sugar. Almost immediately, the sugar will start to draw the water from the berries and form syrup. Put the bowl in the fridge and stir a few times over the next two days. After about 48 hours, strain the solids from the syrup and add about a half cup of good-quality white balsamic vinegar. Taste it, and then add more vinegar (up to a cup)–you want the shrub to be taste balanced—sweet, tart, and complex.  To make a delicious anytime drink, add a tablespoon or so of shrub to a glass of water, either still or sparkly. To make what Bill called a “Bitter Berry” cocktail, mix 1.5 ounces of light rum with 1 ounce of Aperol or Campari and ½ ounce shrub. Shake and enjoy.

I fell so in love with shrubs that I went home Saturday and made three—a strawberry shrub, a mango shrub, and a guava shrub. (That’s a photo of my strawberry shrub in a bit of fizzy water.)

3) The Cult of Celebrity Chefs is alive and well. The queues to get into sessions by such of-the-moment chefs as Tim Love, Paul Qui, Marcus Samuellson, and Andrew Zimmern, started forming 45 minutes before their sessions began, which meant you had to really plan your day. Chef Tim Love, in particular—whose Woodshed Smokehouse and Love Shack restaurants in Fort Worth enjoy enthusiastic, carnivorous fans—channeled an odd mix of rock star and evangelist preacher, grilling rib-eyes and encouraging 11 a.m tequila shots while blasting a soundtrack heavy with ZZ Top. I couldn’t get into any of his three hands-on grilling sessions, but I lurked on the outskirts behind the barricade at his raucous “It’s Tailgaiting Time in Texas” grilling demo, and willingly accepted nibbles of steak offered by boisterous strangers. Best. Rib-eye. Ever.

Brazil—the fifth largest country in the world and the host country of 2014’s World Cup and the 2016 Olympics­–has been making headlines this year, as media outlets as varied as Condé Nast Traveller, the International Business Times, and the New York Times rave about its wines, beaches, music, cultural diversity, and food. The country’s culinary offerings— a literal melting pot simmered from Portuguese, African, Italian, German, Arab, and Japanese influences—extend far beyond the grilled meats most people think of when they think of Brazilian food. Imagine savory pies made of chicken, sausage, cheese, herbs, olives, and eggs; chewy, fudgy candies known as Brigadeiros, the national dessert of Brazil; or Cocada de Forno, a buttery cake made with coconut, sweetened condensed milk, and rum.  I’ll add my personal favorite new obsession to the list: Goiabada com Queijio, a classic Brazilian pairing of mild, fresh cheese and jewel-like slices of guava paste.

A quick internet search of plane fares reveals that flights to, say, Rio de Janeiro run around $1,000. And while we’d never argue that it wouldn’t be worth it, Texans can enjoy a taste of Brazil without leaving the Lone Star State during Central Market’s two-week-long Passaporte Brasil event, presented at stores in Austin, Dallas, Plano, Southlake, Fort Worth, Houston, and San Antonio. Passaporte Brasil kicks off today (April 24) and continues through May 7.

Along with foods, wines, coffees, flowers, textiles, and housewares from Brazil, the event also features cooking classes taught by Brazilian chefs, Brazilian music, and demonstrations throughout the stores. Of special interest to oenophiles, the country’s burgeoning wine industry receives the spotlight: The southern tip of the country, where topography and climate resemble that of the Piedmont region of Italy, was settled by Italian immigrants who imported their love of wine. A recent sampling of Brazilian bubbles from Casa Valduga and Don Guerino vineyards makes me think that Brazilian sparkling wine may be the next Big Thing. See www.centralmarket.com for a schedule of activities, classes, and events at the store near you.

Rolled in chocolate shavings, coconut, cocoa, and other ingredients, these chewy candies are Brazil’s national dessert

Here’s another example of the enduring appeal of “retro.” There’s a new drive-in movie theater scheduled to open adjacent to downtown Fort Worth this spring.

The Coyote Drive-In is building a 20-acre complex in the Trinity Uptown neighborhood, across the river from downtown. Two of the three screens will be six stories tall (that’s relatively big), and the complex will accommodate up to 1,300 cars. Audio will be broadcast on an FM radio signal.

“We want to bring people back to a simpler time,” Coyote CEO Brady Wood says. “Life is crazy these days. The world is kind of crazy, and drive-ins bring people back to a simpler time.”

Drive-ins were routine entertainment in the 1950s and early 1960s, when there were nearly 400 such theaters in Texas. Their numbers dwindled over the years—succumbing to daylight saving time, real estate development, VCRs, etc. These days, about 15 drive-ins operate in the state.

Along with first-run movies, the Coyote will also have a pavilion restaurant/beer garden area with a playground for children. The restaurant will serve food like hamburgers and pizza, and the bar will serve a wide variety of craft beers and wine.

Wood says ticket prices will vary, but will typically be $8 for adults and $5 for kids.

Patrons will be able to visit the restaurant and beer garden without a movie ticket. Diners will be able to see the screens, but not hear them. Dinner service will also be available to movie-goers.

“This is the first of what we hope will be many (Coyote Drive-Ins),” Wood says. “We would love to bring the drive-in experience to other cities in Texas. … People love drive-ins, they love their memories of the drive-in, and we’re bringing it back.”

Illustration by Christopher Jagmin

For Chinese New Year, Year of the Dragon 2012, my daughter Lucy, my boyfriend David and I celebrated with dinner at Asia Cafe in Austin.  Asia Cafe serves Sichuan (or Szechuan) Chinese cuisine, known for its hot and spicy seasonings.  The Chinese food here is by far the most authentic I’ve had in Austin—both in taste and presentation.

Asia Cafe is simple and casual: walk up to the counter, grab a menu and place your order. The number of items listed start at 115 and go through the 800s!  Luckily, I had a few dishes in mind: Whole Fish with Spicy Bean Sauce (which I had on a previous visit: succulent and flavorfully spicy), House Special Green Beans (Chinese long beans), and Sesame Tofu.  The entrée portions are generous, in keeping with the Chinese tradition of serving dishes family-style, so for the three of us, this was plenty.  Drinks (water, tea and soda only) and utensils are self-serve, along with small bowls—not plates—for sharing (another touch of authenticity: in Chinese households, meals are typically eaten from bowls).

As it turned out, the Whole Fish with Spicy Bean Sauce had already sold out, as this dish is considered “lucky” to eat for the New Year. So we went with a similar entrée on the specials board, House Whole Fish with Garlic and Peppers. When our meal was ready to be picked up at the counter, the fish arrived on an enormous platter, ringed with copious amounts of soft garlic cloves (the mild taste and texture reminded me of miniature new potatoes) and tiny cherry peppers in a piquant peppercorn sauce.  The tasty long beans had that just-right crunchy-yet-tender texture, and the delicately-seasoned sesame tofu was firm, with a crispy coating.

As expected, Asia Cafe was buzzing on this New Year’s night. A couple of private rooms off to the side hosted festive gatherings (and brought their own wine), and the line at the counter was continuous but quick.  As in most “authentic” Asian restaurants, groups of Chinese diners were in attendance, but I also saw many non-Asians, possibly those from other cities who’ve had a taste of China and craving the real deal.

Asia Café is a bit of a trek from my home in south Austin, but well worth it.  Next time I won’t wait until Lunar New Year (2013 is Year of the Snake) to get my Chinese food fix.

My sister Joan was in Austin last weekend visiting from Dallas, and we decided to forgo the usual big-city haunts and spend an afternoon in Smithville.  I had written about Smithville’s movie-town status in November TH, and Joan wanted to explore downtown Smithville.

Comfort Cafe's Chicken-Curry Salad

We began with lunch at Comfort Cafe, just off Main St., where I dined on one of my research trips but regrettably didn’t have room to include in my story.  (I was pleased to see in the January issue, Bob McClure had written a Reader Recommendation on the chicken salad at the café.)  I have had the chicken-curry salad and it was sweetly refreshing.  Since I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet, I chose the Sammy Bennie, one of three Eggs Benedict dishes on the extensive breakfast/lunch menu. Generously topped with hollandaise sauce over two fluffy poached eggs, salmon and English muffins, the dish was satisfying yet didn’t make me feel overstuffed. Joan opted for a freshly-made Potato Florentine Soup with a side of field greens. Open for breakfast and lunch, Comfort Cafe will also begin serving on Friday nights, 6-9 p.m. starting Feb. 3.

We strolled down Main St. and stopped at Tom-Kat Paper Dolls, as Joan has fond memories of playing with and collecting paper dolls growing up in Hong Kong.  As I mentioned in the November story, I continue to be amazed at the range and scope of sartorial themes played out in illustrator/shop owner Tom Tierney’s paper-doll books.  Some of the newest ones depict the royal newlyweds William and Kate and the late fashion designer Alexander McQueen.  Joan bought a book of designer fashions from the 1950s-90s, and we marveled at and recalled some of the trends of those times.

As with many small-town downtowns, Smithville’s Main Street has antiques stores galore. But we discovered a new and somewhat different type of shop, Sacs on Main Resale Boutique, which opened two weeks ago and swarming with customers.  Sacs is much like Buffalo Exchange—trendy and youthful resale womens apparel but without the cramped racks.  There are also new, handcrafted accessories in the mix, such as headbands topped with fabric flowers and jewelry from next door neighbor Scattered Light.  Be sure to check out the back room of the store—everything is $1, and I saw some great buys, like a tailored vintage black brocade cape, and a slim brown floral 60s-inspired sheath dress.

It was a relaxing yet not unfamiliar change of pace from our usual Austin jaunts.

Like a lot of women in Central Texas, I imagine, I once dated a soldier stationed at Fort Hood, the lifeblood of the military city of Killeen. On most weekends during our short courtship, he’d visit me in Austin, where we’d frequent the live-music venues on Sixth Street and along Guadalupe, the road that parallels the UT campus.  On a few occasions, though, I made the one-hour trip to the base. This was a few years before Operation Desert Storm and many years before 9-11, and security concerns weren’t the same as they are now. So on one night when he had guard duty at one of the post’s motor pools, I accompanied him. I assume this was allowed but can’t be certain. Regardless, no one stopped us. And so I have a rather surreal and oddly romantic memory of a warm night curled up on an armored tank, watching the stars.

On visits to Austin, he’d claim there wasn’t much to do in Killeen. And so years later, I was surprised to read a story in the Austin American-Statesman about the wealth of interesting restaurants (Hawaiian! Korean! Puerto Rican! Trinidadian!) found along Rancier Avenue, an artery named “Tank Destroyer Boulevard” as it enters the Fort. I’m an adventurous eater, and fortunately my husband, Randy, usually cooperates amiably. And since last Saturday was free, we made the short trek to Killeen to explore.

The Fort is a big place and dominates the city: The official website of Fort Hood breaks down some demographics and illustrates the cultural and economic impact of the Fort’s population. According to the Comptroller’s office, the Fort has an estimated $10 billion impact on the Texas economy. With some 70,000 men and women living on post (27,000 of whom are in the military) and a total supported population numbering almost 400,000, Fort Hood is the largest active-duty armored post in the US Armed Services.

According to what I’ve read on the Internet and elsewhere, Killeen’s 8,000-strong Korean population is the result of the military’s presence in that country in the 1950s; when US servicemen returned to Killeen after the war, some brought new wives with them, and the community began to grow. So I wasn’t surprised to see numerous Korean noodle houses and barbecue joints along Rancier Avenue. And it turns out that because there’s a significant population of Pacific Islanders in Killeen (some of whom were in the service and others who wound up here after visiting relatives or friends in the service), restaurants popped up to cater to their tastes, as well.

Rancier itself—now lined with a dizzying number of barber shops, pawn shops, and military surplus stores—must have been a happening strip in the 1950s and 1960s, when the post’s population exploded. Many of the buildings still have vestiges of mid-Century architecture, but the majority look worse for wear and tear. We drove around a bit, chatting about Elvis Presley’s stint here in 1958, wondering if soldiers still had to dry-clean and press their uniforms, and debating which restaurant to try first.

I had read that the C & H Hawaiian Grill offered a raw-tuna dish called poke, which was served in a Styrofoam cup but still rivaled sashimi dishes at served high-end sushi places in Austin–so we headed there first. Turns out the owners, Cora and Hensan Timo, opened the grill in 2004 when their sons were stationed at Fort Hood.

Since it was around 3 o’clock, the place wasn’t overly busy; we ordered a few things at the counter and shared the small dining room with a few uniformed soldiers and their families. I loved the poke, which is raw ahi (tuna) marinated in soy sauce, sesame oil, and green onion—but Randy thought the sesame flavor overpowered the fish. We both enjoyed the Kalua Pork with cabbage (a large portion of smoked and roasted pulled pork served with white rice), but in our opinion the most unusual dish we ordered was the Samoan plate, a combination of barbecued ribs, Polish sausage, teriyaki chicken, and a side of chicken-y, slippery noodles. The Timos know their way around a barbecue pit! We were offered a choice of bananas cooked in coconut milk or rice, and we chose the banana, which was definitely different—starchy yet a bit sweet.

We popped into a pawn shop and a surplus store, dropped by Partin’s Jamaican Bakery and Grill to pick up a menu for next time (paki-crusted plantains! Jamming jerk patties! Yabba-braised tilapia! Sambo oxtail!), then swung by the Caribbean grill for some to-go fare from Trinidad-Tobago. Faced with a selection of such savory items as stewed chicken, oxtail, fried shark, and Indian-inspired roti, we chose an order of curried goat and another order of jerk chicken. When we were asked, “How hot can you eat it?” I responded, “Hot enough to make our scalps sweat.” The server behind the counter raised an eyebrow and squirted copious amounts of some secret ingredient into our to-go-boxes.

As we returned to Austin, the aroma in the car made my stomach growl. Later that night as we dug into leftovers, our scalps sweating and our taste-buds firing on all cylinders, we made plans for another culinary adventure in Killeen. After all, we’ve only scratched the surface.

Chef Monica Pope at Revival Market, a grocery, butcher, and charcuterie in the Heights. Photo by Julie Soefer.

A few years ago, I had the good fortune to participate in one of Houston’s first “Where the Chefs Eat” Culinary Tours, a collaboration between some of the city’s most adventuresome chefs and the Houston Convention and Visitors Bureau—both groups who sought to elevate the city’s reputation as a world-class food town. Instead of visiting some of Houston’s many well-regarded “fine dining” spots, we explored a half-dozen or so casual and/or family-owned joints that the chefs frequent when they’re not cooking in their own restaurants. We toured the kitchens, met the owners, traded recipes and stories, and generally had a blast—feasting on veritable banquets of barbecue, Thai entrees, Indian dishes, and interior Mexican specialties—with professional chefs to guide us in our exploration of new cuisines, ingredients, and preparations.

The only downside to the tours? They’re so popular that they sell out quickly. So I was excited to receive the 2012 tour schedule and to learn that the three-year-old program has grown to encompass more tours, more chefs, and more restaurants. Another interesting element: Proceeds from the 2012 tours will benefit the new Foodways Texas organization (www.foodwaystexas.com ), which opens to public membership in 2012 and whose mission is to “preserve, promote, and celebrate the diverse food cultures of Texas.”

Tickets for the first tour—January 22’s “Chinese New Year with Chefs Chris Shepherd and Justin Yu” —go on sale December 1, followed by opportunities to join tours such as “Late night Bars and Bites with Chefs Seth Siegel-Gardener, Terrence Gallivan, and Bobby Heugel and Kevin Floyd,” “Oysters with Chefs Mark Holley and Jonathan Jones,” and many others. New additions for 2012 include farm tours, explorations of coffee and dessert, and a look-see at citywide Day of the Dead celebrations; popular “repeats” include explorations of barbecue, street food, Southern comfort food, and Vietnamese cuisine. See www.houstonculinarytours.com for a full run-down.

I’m learning to love wine. A few years ago, a friend organized a series of wine-tasting parties based on recommendations from Master Sommelier (and SMU graduate) Andrea Immer Robinson’s book Great Wine Made Simple. As we progressed through the first chapters—learning to differentiate between light-bodied and full-bodied styles, identifying characteristics of “The Big Six Grapes” (Riesling, Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Merlot/Cabernet Sauvignon, and Shiraz), and building a vocabulary of “flavor words” like tannic and oaky—I began to think about how the pleasures of drinking wine encompasses not only taste, but also tradition, history, agriculture, geography, chemistry, geology, and travel. Robinson, now one of fewer than 20 women in the world who have been made Master Sommeliers by the Court of Master Sommeliers, makes the wine world approachable and fun. After all, her own education began while she was a college student in Dallas, when she took a wine-tasting class at The Grape, a popular restaurant on Greenville Avenue.

Last night, I had the opportunity to attend a wine-tasting event at Austin’s Barr Mansion and Artisan Ballroom, a beautiful event site in northeast Austin that is the nation’s only certified organic event facility. A two-story clapboard Victorian home anchors the site of a former farmstead, and past a series of native-plant gardens and sprawling oak trees (a Certified Wildlife Habitat), a modern, glass-and-cedar ballroom (recently rebuilt after being destroyed by fire last year) hosts events for up to 600 people.

This particular tasting, hosted by the Loire Valley Wine Bureau, offered opportunities to sample an array of delicious varietals from France’s Loire Valley, which benefits from the temperature-moderating influence of the Atlantic Ocean. There are some 65 appellations (wine-growing regions) in the Loire Valley, and the primary grapes used include Chenin Blanc, Cabernet Franc, Sauvignon Blanc, and a grape called Melon de Bourgogne, which lends itself to crisp, dry whites.

Since one of my favorite varietals is Sauvignon Blanc—a grape used in Texas wines produced by Fall Creek Vineyards, Spicewood Vineyards, and other Texas producers—I was particularly interested in exploring the differences in style between French versions (often made in the Sancerre appellations) compare. This, I learned, is a classic “Old World/New World” comparison.

Seems to me that Texas Sauvignon Blancs, like their New World siblings from Australia and New Zealand, seem slightly effervescent and bright, while the French Sancerres seemed creamier, with an expressive floral nose and a still-spritely mouthfeel.

I enjoyed chatting with an aspiring sommelier named Justine Langston, who currently buys wine for the small wine-bar chain Crú and will be sitting for her Sommelier Certification exam in October. Langston told me that in Europe, wine-drinking is rarely intimidating, and is in fact transcends all classes of society. The days of snooty sommeliers in America is over, she assured me.

In a room filled with so many outstanding French wines—some from vineyards that date back hundreds of years—I couldn’t help but wonder how the young Texas wine industry compares. One vendor told me that the difference wasn’t necessarily a difference in quality, even as he acknowledged the challenges of growing certain varietals in Texas simply because it gets so dang hot here. So we grow the ones that DO perform well here, he said—much as vineyards do the world over. The difference, this fellow told me, is more a result of scale. Texan growers simply cannot produce as much wine as large vineyards in France, Italy, Chile, and Spain, for example—and so in general, a high-quality Texan wine costs more than a comparable bottle from more-established wine-producing regions. Any thoughts on this, wine folks out there?

I don’t mind paying a few extra dollars to support a local industry. But I still like to experience how a style is made in other parts of the world—to compare, contrast, and become more knowledgeable. It’s a fun endeavor, and one of the few educational paths where repeating a lesson is encouraged. Cheers.

photo courtesy Dorothy Huang

In January 2010’s TH Taste, I wrote a brief mention of the Chinese New Year Feast hosted by cooking instructor Dorothy Huang, Martin Yan (of PBS’ Yan Can Cook), and restaurant owner/chef Hoi Fung at his Fung’s Kitchen in Houston. The event, held over two nights, was a sold-out success, and the team brought back this popular Lunar New Year banquet for 2011’s Year of the Rabbit. Luckily for me, I was able to attend this year, and it is truly a feast for the senses, as well as the appetite.

The evening opened with a trio of lion dancers, which snaked their way to and from every table, playfully wagging and begging for “lucky money” from guests. Red envelopes were provided at each table for those wanting to contribute to the fun.

Following the lion dancers were several troupes of Asian girls ranging from five-year-olds to pre-teens performing traditional Chinese dances. Adorable and delightful!

We enjoyed a nine-course tasting immediately after the performances, with accompanying cooking demos of most of the dishes by Chef Fung, Martin Yan, and Dorothy Huang. Entrees included Chinese classics such as Peking duck (very succulent!), lobster in black pepper sauce, sweet-and-sour fish, and also Chinese style filet mignon, along with shrimp fried rice for good luck. After the sumptuous, scrumptious meal, our hosts greeted diners at each table and we toasted the Rabbit Year with red wine and cognac—“ganbei!” (cheers!).

Earlier in the day, I tried to visit the now-shuttered Forbidden Gardens, and mourned the passing of a Houston-area Chinese cultural treasure. Could Fung’s Kitchen New Year’s Feast somehow mark the birth of another?

I’m not sure I understand the competition to come up with the next best fried thing, and I’m not here to judge (I’m responsible for my extra poundage – no one else), but every year, when the State Fair of Texas announces its list of fried food finalists, my ears perk up. I am excited to know what’s being tossed into the vat next.

"Corny" dogs, like these shown during an eating contest, make a regular appearance on State Fair of Texas concession menus. (Photo courtesy State Fair of Texas)

They never disappoint, at least not in terms of generating a buzz. So in case you didn’t get the memo, let me share the menu.

This year, you’ll get ID’d if you order items like Deep-Fried Frozen Margarita or Fried Beer. Like the Fried Coke or Fried Butter before them, that just seems to defy some scientific law, but I’ll admit I’m ready for the lines to open up for a frozen margarita. While waiting in line, I’ll ponder the difference between “fried” and “deep-fried.”

The Deep-Fried Frozen Margarita is born of the goodness of two things – margarita ingredients and funnel cake batter. They are mixed together, fried, dusted with a lemon-lime mixture and served in a salt-rimmed glass. While probably not as refreshing as the real thing, it sounds pretty good to me.

The Fried Beer is a beer-filled pretzel pocket. I’m not a fan of beer, so someone else will have to vouch for this later. I hear the beer really does pour out when you take a bite.

Again, don’t forget your ID. You will get carded for these – even though, I’m pretty sure the alcohol disappears somewhere in the frying process.

As a bona fide lemon addict, I’ll need to order the Fried Lemonade, a baked lemon-flavored pastry that is then fried and glazed with a mix of lemonade, powdered sugar and lemon zest. I’ll probably seek out fresh lemonade to wash this down with, and be in citrus heaven.

For chocolate lovers, there is, of course, Fried Chocolate, a white chocolate candy bar and a cherry are stuffed inside a brownie, dipped in chocolate cake batter, deep fried and topped off with powdered sugar, a cherry sauce and chocolate whipped cream. I might have called it Fried Cherry Cordial, but alas, once again they did not call for my opinion. *insert audible gasp here* Just kidding. Well see, though, if that shows up on the menu next year. Remember, you heard it here first! Ha! Oh boy, do I have all kinds of GREAT ideas for next year!

There also is the Deep-Fried S’mores Pop Tart, which is pretty self-explanatory. A s’mores flavored Pop Tart is battered, fried and then topped with chocolate sauce and whipped cream. I’d like to put this to the test with my friend Kate who lights up her fire pit at home as often as she can to feed her s’mores cravings.

For something more savory, traditional and Texan, they’re promising Texas Fried Frito Pie. Not sure how, but they are apparently able to hold together the chili, cheese and Fritos long enough to fry it. It’s a mystery to me, but the item made it as a finalist, so it can be done. Amazing what a little human will and ingenuity can achieve. Speaking of: Look for Texas Fried Caviar –– fried and seasoned black-eyed peas. Whodathunkit? Someone thought of it.

And finally, for you health nuts … oh, wait … nevermind. This salad is fried, too. Fernie’s Fried Club Salad is a spinach wrap stuffed with the goodness of diced ham, chicken, shredded lettuce, carrots, tomatoes, cheese and bacon. Sounds good, but wait, I’m not finished. It’s fried, topped with deep-fried sour dough croutons on a stick and then served on a bed of lettuce. Well, at least you can still say you had the “salad,” if anyone asks.

So there you have it. Don’t try them all in one sitting, or it’ll be “groan” appétit instead of bon appétit. Pace yourself. You’ll have 20-something days to get it all in. The State Fair of Texas runs from Sept. 24-Oct. 17.