Personally, I cannot think of any one thing more fun than watching Aunt Pearl meet Elvis. And if you’re acquainted with “Greater Tuna” and the good people of Tuna, the third-smallest town in Texas, “where the Lion’s Club is too liberal and Patsy Cline never dies,” you know exactly what I mean. Aunt Pearl and – presumably – Bertha, Charlene, Vera, Arles, Petey, and the rest – will meet up with the Big E when “Tuna Does Vegas” has its world premier Saturday, August 4, at the Grand 1894 Opera House in Galveston. You bet, it’s the newest stage production from the funniest guys in Texas, Jaston Williams and the Tony-nominated Joe Sears, who take their cast of characters to Sin City for a wild time on the Strip. Heaven only knows what Reverend Spikes and the Smut Snatchers will have to say about this turn of events. If you attend Saturday’s opening night, you could enter the raffle, for which there will be a drawing for a Vegas trip for two, including air and hotel, and there’s a dessert reception after the show. The play continues through August 19, and performances will be at 8 p.m., Tuesday-Friday; 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday; and 2 and 7 p.m. Sunday. Get ticket prices and more HERE. “Tuna Does Vegas” will be at Austin’s Paramount Theatre in late October, too.

There’s such a dramatic change in the topography as you drive into the Panhandle, it nearly snatches my breath away each time I do it. This trip, it was after leaving the flat, plainness of land stretching away from Vernon and Quanah and approached Childress and the rugged beauty of the cap rock. With this year’s rain, the scrub is green, making an even greater contrast with the rust-colored canyons and arroyos cleaving deep into the earth. No matter that this was a July afternoon, everyone wanted to be outside. The weather’s mild, so folks were sitting under the awning at tables in front of JT’s Drive In on Avenue F (U.S. 287), a place with giant stacks of wood attesting to the on-site smoking of barbecue at this old landmark. About 40 miles up the road near Hedley, business was booming at Monroe’s, a produce stand with more beautiful tomatoes and peaches than you could shake a stick at. Simple scenes that gratify so easily like this remind me why it’s a good idea to get out of the city and head up the road somewhere as often as possible.

A forest grows in Wimberley, but from the roadside, you wouldn’t know it. Set back from RR 12, a winding swath of road that meanders past ranches and strip malls just outside this small artist village in the Hill Country, sits Jade Gardens Bonsai Nursery, a garden center that focuses on the horticulture of native Texas trees in a bonsai environment. In addition to offering traditional bonsai trees, such as maples and pines, the nursery houses a jungle of trees more commonly found towering over the Texas landscape than in pots, including Crape Myrtles, cedars, and oaks.

During my recent visit, I met with Pat Ware, who owns Jade Gardens with her husband Chuck. I was surprised when she told me that caring for a bonsai tree isn’t as time consuming as you’d think, just a clip here and a snip there every few months and voilà. At first I was skeptical, since I automatically had this image in my mind of Mr. Miyagi from the movie The Karate Kid painstakingly pampering his trees in the back of his workshop. According to Pat, the hardest part is lifting the tree from its pot every year to trim its roots.

Interestingly, any tree can be turned into a bonsai, just so long as its crown and roots are trimmed religiously and it remains in a container. “As long as it’s fed, watered, and trimmed, it’s content,” says Pat, who explains that Chuck does the majority of caring for the couple’s more than 200 plants. On a typical day, he’s responsible for twisting metal wires around the trees’ delicate branches to control their shape, trimming leaves and roots, and watering them. Some of the bonsais at Jade Gardens have been under Chuck’s care for more than 20 years.

Prices start at about $25 per tree, but can climb as high as $1,000-plus for larger trees—large being relative, since these are trees in miniature. Jade Gardens also houses the Central Texas Bonsai Exhibit, a display of more than 160 tree species. An adjacent gift shop sells jade jewelry, figurines carved from elephant tusks, and pottery.

Jade Gardens Bonsai Nursery is at 12404 RR 12, about two miles from downtown Wimberley. Hours vary by season, so call ahead. 512/847-2514 or go HERE.

Quit putting off that vacation to San Antonio. Right now, hotel deals are great–and I’m not talking just about rooms at the cookie-cutter chains way out yonder, either. How about the Omni La Mansion del Rio, the Crockett Hotel and the Radisson Hill Country Resort from $109? The Menger and El Tropicano from $119? You can find these by searching the hotels’ Web sites for available dates and plugging in a special rate code from the San Antonio Vacation Experience (SAVE) page on the San Antonio Convention & Visitors Bureau website (HERE). Discounts through the SAVE program are offered also for the Buckhorn Saloon and Museum, Six Flags Fiesta Texas, Sea World, IMAX, San Antonio Zoo, and more. And, according to Zagat’s 2007 Texas Restaurants guide, some of the best inexpensive eating ($15 or less) in San Antonio is at Asia Kitchen, Beto’s Comida Latina, Blue Star Brewing Company, Lucky Burger, and, my fave, Schilo’s Delicatessen, a 1917 landmark.

Tell us your picks for good values in San Antonio.

For quite a while, I dreaded the drive along I-35 because of the traffic. But if I gave myself enough time, I could always work out the road rage with a little shopping therapy in Salado. Now, of course, outlet shopping options have exploded–have you checked out the ginormous new Premium Outlets Center in Round Rock? It has 125 stores–some with the first outlets in Texas–like Adidas, AG Adriano, Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, Brooks Brothers, Burberry, Calvin Klein, Coach, Cole Haan, Gap, J.Crew, Michael Kors, Miss Sixty/Energie, Nike, Polo Ralph Lauren, and Theory–with the new 252,000-square-foot IKEA nearby. Right in hollerin’ distance is Georgetown’s new Wolf Ranch Town Center, with Target (my fave) among its anchors. Of course, the town squares at Georgetown and Hillsboro have some good shopping and dining diversions to make interstate travel bearable.

What makes you want to brave I-35?

Make plans now to head down to Brenham Thursday through Saturday, July 19-21, for a sweet celebration. Texas’ favorite little creamery will mark its centennial at the Washington County Fairgrounds with the Blue Bell “100 Years Tour,” photo ops with Jersey cows, interactive games and videos, an antique farm equipment exhibit, kids’ arcade, live entertainment, barbecue and hot dogs. And, of course, there will be hand-dipped ice cream (make mine a Caramel Turtle Fudge, would ya please?) in more than 40 flavors. A caveat: Because huge crowds are anticipated, there won’t be any visits to or tours of the creamery itself. Learn more HERE.

Where’s your favorite ice cream shop in Texas?

If you’re wandering around the Hill Country this weekend, head over to Medina for an apple-pickin’ good time this Saturday and Sunday. At Love Creek Orchards, which is in hollerin’ distance of all those fun dude ranches at Bandera, you can watch your apples as they’re squeezed into apple cider in the packing shed, listen to storytellers, enjoy live music, and chow down with lots of country cooking. Bring the kids for hayrides into the orchards. There’s no admission fee. More HERE.

While we’re at it, where’s the best apple pie in Texas?

It’s possible we Texans love our burgers almost as much as we do our barbecue. Just look at North Texas, now gone plum crazy with new burger joints in the past few months. Kincaid’s, the nationally renowned old Fort Worth corner grocer selling legendary burgers has launched new locations in places like Southlake (a fancy suburb near DFW Airport) and on South Hulen Street in Cowtown, with a new store on the horizon at the new Arlington Highlands development. Pappas Burger, with the ground prime steak burger, opened its first location outside of Houston on Fort Worth’s west side, and people are lined up out the door at all hours (I had the blue cheese bacon burger yesterday, and it’s a dandy). Cowboy cook Grady Spears and Austin chef/restaurateur Louis Lambert collaborated on a fun new burger joint on Fort Worth’s University Drive called Dutch’s, named for the iconic TCU football coach Dutch Meyer. Fort Worth chef (recently starring on TV’s “Iron Chef”) Tim Love opened a burger stand at his White Elephant Saloon called Love Shack. In Dallas, there’s a fantastic place in Deep Ellum called Twisted Root, where everything’s made by hand – the burger patties, fries, pickles, ketchup, mustard, ice cream and root beer. Of course, I can’t spend any time in Dallas without one of the burgers from Jack’s Burger House on University, although the ones at Chip’s are hard to beat, too. The burgers at the new(ish) Goff’s are still amazing, and I’m not through grieving the loss of Prince of Hamburgers. In Austin, I can’t imagine passing up the burgers at Dirty’s, Hut’s or Hill’s Café.

What are your favorite Texas burgers?

Further proof that Texas is widely envied: One of the newest, well-publicized restaurants to open recently in New York City is called Hill Country Barbecue and Market. Rather than a wanna-be kind of place, this is the real McCoy: The owner is Marc Glosserman, whose Central Texas roots are four generations deep and whose passion for real Texas barbecue grew from his fondness for the stuff he grew up eating at Kreuz Market in Lockhart. Situated on Manhattan’s west side, the barbecue restaurant’s pit master smokes brisket, sausage, prime rib, beer can game hen and other goodies over Texas post oak and serves it on butcher paper with the customary crackers, onions, pickles and white bread, but diners can also opt for baked beans, green bean casserole, skillet cornbread and mac and cheese, and they can get pecan pie topped with Blue Bell ice cream. But Gotham isn’t the only place getting a real taste of Hill Country ‘cue; Coppell, between Irving and Grapevine and just a rib’s throw from DFW Airport, just got a Hard Eight BBQ (the original’s in Stephenville), which is fashioned after Cooper’s in Llano. You choose your meats from the giant pit out front – I liked the half chicken, cabrito and pork ribs best – then walk inside the giant stone-and-wood building and pick up sides, such as jalapeno cream corn, cole slaw, potato salad and cornbread salad. It’s packed day and night, already.

What are your favorite barbecue joints in Texas?

Should Houston be in your summer travel plans? Absolutely, if you love museums. You only have until July 29 to see “Imperial Rome” at the Museum of Natural Science. This is the best way (short of touring British Museum and several in Italy) to understand the scope of the greatest political, economic and military force of the civilized world from 27 B.C. until the middle of the third century A.D. You’ll see relics and artifacts from the period in which the Roman Empire covered England, much of continental Europe and Asia, coastal North Africa and the Mediterranean. Here’s where to see MORE. And starting on July 22, you can visit the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, to see “RED HOT: Asian Art Today from the Chaney Family Collection,” an overview of the surge of contemporary art coming today from Japan, Korea, Vietnam and China. Much of this collection, gathered by Houstonians Robert, Jereann and Holland Chaney, hasn’t been seen outside the countries from which they originated. What’s most significant about this exhibit? It represents the museum’s commitment to showing Asian art exhibitions in coming years. See more (HERE). Looking for summer savings on your trips to Houston? Check out big lodging savings online for the Icon Hotel, J.W. Marriott at the Galleria, the St. Regis, the Houstonian, Springhill Suites and the Hilton Hotel Houson Postoak (at Travelocity, Priceline, hotels.com, Expedia and Orbitz.)